I’m still not convinced that this new game show version for $500K makes this show any better, and I’m starting to hate what it’s turned the show into. Besides Jess and Spencer, there’s zero relationships lasting off this resort. Yet all these couples, two of which are just friends trying to cash in, are still here while we’re already at the penultimate episode of this crazy season, before it all comes to an end next Tuesday. Last week’s episode turned into a ridiculous game of survivor that Sean tried to run and that resulted in him and Allyshia, along with Parisa and Brian leaving. And I’m sure that’s exactly what’s going to continue since this is just a game show to win life changing money.

To start the week, Hannah pulls the girls aside and brings up the topic of engagements and how they’re feeling. Immediately Kat says it ain’t happening again after she got engaged for a cup of coffee in Paradise two years ago (plus, not a chance her and Dale end up together after this). None of the other girls really say anything meaningful, but Jess, who obviously has the strongest relationship in Paradise says she’s very hesitant and nervous with Spencer and realistically says how ridiculous it is that they’re talking about moving in together when they’ve never been on a date outside of Paradise. I respect that a lot. Have some common sense. 

Jesse tells the final six couples have a special beachside dinner. Good, strengthen the relationships on this show without jumping right to a challenge. Or is it the challenge since this show’s now just a game?

After they eat dinner, Jesse shows up to tell the couples that they have glamping campsites in the jungle for overnights as they head into the challenge. They get there and we find out that the couples have to work together to put together their piece of shit campsites. And they’re going to be judged by a relationship therapist. Everyone does an alright job, besides Kat, who’s losing her fucking mind over bugs at a site with a bunch of horse piles all over it. Dale does a good job calming her down though. As soon as all the couples are done and start to chill, they start hearing all of these obviously planted animal sounds that make some of the girls lose their shit. Then Jesse comes out to them and says that a “zoologist” says its not safe for them to be out there and they get to go back to the resort.

This show’s supposed to be about love and fostering relationships in this crazy environment to try to build couples that work in the real world. This is entirely just a fucking game that just keeps them all on their heels waiting for the next twist.

The next morning Jesse goes to tell the couples that it was a relationship test and introduces them to the therapist, telling them that they got watched by her the previous night at dinner and the campsites. The therapist starts with Keith and Kathy, telling them that they did well from the test standpoint and that their friendship is great, but that they clearly don’t have a romantic connection. Same with Lea and Jonathan. Then for Alexe and Andrew, the therapist brings up how Andrew handled the last kiss thing, and she says they have a lot of fun but it doesn’t feel like they have chemistry. Andrew’s a bit alarmed by that, but also, who cares what this lady thinks. Then for Jeremy and Bailey, it’s the opposite, they have chemistry, but it doesn’t seem like they are aligned relationship wise. Jeremy pushes back. The therapist says Dale did a great job trying to help Kat during her breakdown, but calls out that he got frustrated himself. That’s quite accurate, and Dale agrees on it. Lastly she tells Spencer and Jess that it seems like their relationship seems to be great, but that also that they’re going so fast in this controlled environment and to maybe pump the breaks a little bit. The winners of the challenge are Kat and Dale with how they navigated the challenge. They get immunity at the rose ceremony and get a date. Everyone will vote out one couple this week.

On their beach date, Dale starts it off saying that he thinks they can win this whole thing, while Kat says its about them and their relationship and that it might work outside of this. Feels like two different sides of the coin there. Kat then tells Dale that she feels very good about them and can see it working with them outside of there, and that she feels safe with him.

Meanwhile at the resort, Spencer and Jess talk about what they want out of here. They talk about what their timelines are with starting a family and they talk about how their relationship could work outside of here and the logistics of how their lives could play out. I do like seeing that type of conversation, since it’s real.

Alexe and Andrew awkwardly tell each other that they’re falling in love, although they’re both very hesitant.

At the cocktail party, Keith essentially tells the guys that he’s homesick and wants to go home. Him and Kathy, along with Jonathan and Lea, are obviously on the chopping block. Keith then tells Kathy that he’s had a great time, but he’s homesick, misses his kids and needs to go home. As Kathy tries to make one quick push, Keith talks to the girls and tells them that he’s voting himself. They have to send him home. The girls tell Keith how much he means to them as the girl dad figure of him being around. That conversation does make Keith think through leaving again. It’s a pretty split vote between Keith and Jonathan, and Keith does end up voting Jonathan rather than himself. 

Dale, Andrew, Spencer, and Jeremy hand out their roses.

For the final rose of the night, there’s a tied vote, leaving the final decision up to Dale since him and Kat won the challenge.

Dale gives the final rose to Keith, getting back at Jonathan for when he was sniffing for Kat’s rose earlier in the season to try to stay around. The smart strategic move to try to win $500K. Jonathan and Lea are a bigger threat in competitions than Keith, who wants to leave anyway and Kathy are. Keith embraces that he’s sticking around another week.

The next morning, the next challenge starting with a riddle that no one understands and a knife. Two of the three couples who lose the challenge will go home this week, leaving just two couples for $500K. For the challenge, Jesse asks the cast a bunch of pressing questions and everyone needs to anonymously “stab the person in the back” that exemplifies it the most. The challenge really makes everyone uncomfortable and worried that they’re going home. Obviously the goldens are going home, but it pretty much is just Spencer and Jess with Kat and Dale vs. Alexe and Andrew with Jeremy and Bailey. That essentially brings it up to the goldens to decide who’s also going home. The winner with the fewest daggers that are safe are Andrew and Alexe. That makes them safe tonight for the final rose ceremony of the season.

Next week, this crazy twist of a season comes to an end. I’m pumped, as much as I hate what $500K changes the game. A few other huge twists are coming though, including everyone coming back to be the “parliament of Paradise” AND that the real final challenge will be choosing love OR the money. Game changer. Although I still don’t think that matters, since realistically, every single one of these couples should take the money.

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