Last week Clare’s season (that we know will be short lived) kicked off and started with some wild shit as she said as soon as this guy Dale got out of the limo that she thought she just met her husband…yeah, okay, crazy. Let’s see how this goes this week.
For the first group date (all of which will take place only on the resort this season) it is all about “love languages”. The guys have to “speak to Clare’s heart”, then give “small gifts” to Clare, What a lame date for far. The next part is about physical touch though which is a little more fun and awkward to watch. That had to be probably so weird for the other guys to sit there watching though. Later in the evening at the cocktail party, Clare’s already talking about how obsessed she is with Dale. Clare also makes it a real big deal that it took the guys a second before the first guy Bennett (the Harvard dweeb who had to bring it up immediately) pulled her away. It was like two seconds of silence Clare, relax. While she’s talking to him, she just loses her mind that none of the guys stood up and did something right away when she got there. So she’s definitely nuts. She goes back to the guys to talk to the group that she’s “taken aback” about the awkward silence after her toast. Give me a break. “Does anybody wanna hang out with me?” Come on. The producers also made this seem like it was gonna be a way bigger deal in the promo to kind of tease her leaving the show. This also kicks off drama between Riley and Yosef about them not “speaking for the group”. This season sucks already. Dale then pulls Clare away after this and she opens up a ton about how it scares her how strong her feelings are about him so early. Clare gives the group date rose to Riley, who impressed her during her one on one time. Probably cause she couldn’t give Dale both the first impression rose and the first group date rose.
Jason gets the first one on one date of the season and before the date, Clare asks him to write a letter to his younger self and she’ll do the same. Interesting. Jason’s scared that he’ll have to be vulnerable and open up, haven’t you watched The Bachelor series before? That’s kinda a theme that happens every season, on almost every date. Or just listen to the song Letter to Me by Brad Paisley (one of my favorites). Jason seems pretty normal on the date and almost too down to earth for this show. Clare’s letter to her former self was pretty cute and she did a good job on it. Jason on the other hand like breaks down while reading his and then opens up to Clare about his tougher past and that he doesn’t want to let his guard down and almost scare Clare off. Clare does a good job of having him open up for her though and she gives him a rose. After she gives him the rose, Clare pulls out the dress she wore during Juan Pablo’s finale and they burn it together. Cute.
The second group date is a game of what turns out to be “strip dodgeball”, sort of a stupid date. But probably fun. The group that wins gets to have a cocktail party with Clare and the losing group has to walk back wearing just jock straps. The cocktail party goes fine for the five guys that won but Blake Moynes who was on the losing team decides to get dressed and shows back up to the date to talk to Clare. Follow the rules. He even tells her that he knows that he was going to be causing drama doing so. While he’s talking to her, the five guys on the winning team come and interrupt their conversation. Not a good look for him. Clare doesn’t seem to give a shit though and after the guys show up, Clare asks to keep talking to him. But she sends him back and doesn’t kiss him when he goes in for it. So that’s pretty much it for that kid. Jason gets the group date rose.
After that, this other dweeb talks to Clare and just tells her that other than her being gorgeous (she’s SO hot) and from Sacramento, he doesn’t know anything about her. What a fucking idiot. He’ll easily get sent home tonight. Clare doesn’t even keep this kid around for the rose ceremony and just sends him home immediately.
Back at the house, Yosef has a whole meltdown about how the strip dodgeball thing was “classless”. This dude is such an asshole for no reason. Like chill out you arrogant prick.
The first guy that Clare asks to talk to at the cocktail party before the rose ceremony is Blake Moynes after him crashing the group date the night before. Clare tells him that she actually liked the move a lot and gives him a rose and gives him a kiss before the rose ceremony even starts. So she at least partially likes the kid, he’s playing the game right I guess. I can’t see it working out with them though. Not the best move though seeing that it’s absolutely gonna cause drama with the rest of the guys right away that Clare didn’t necessarily have to do.
After that, Clare talks to Dale and really opens up to her. Obviously he’s her guy and the whole season is clearly going to be the two of them that she “blows up the Bachelorette” for.
Already some fireworks in week 2 and there’s going to be WAY more next week!
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