Last week the new season of Bachelor in Paradise kicked off with drama and early connections already. Back to the beach back to back nights every Monday and Tuesday as things heat up in Paradise (and I have two TVs, so I’m not missing any Monday Night Football). 

Cue the theme song. Almost Paradise. Its ruined though by ABC or Spectrum or someone having the blind people thing where you have a computer reading the description of what people are doing. WHAT. THE. FUCK. Might have to wait until this episode is available on demand tomorrow to write this blog. No way I could watch this thing with a computer telling me every little thing that happens. I can’t see this even being entertaining for people that can’t see the TV…which at that point you’re never watching Bachelor in Paradise anyway.

Update to this: just switched over to the Yankees game and its not doing that. So the issue is solely on ABC.

Update again: watching it on Hulu instead of through my cable box works fine. Fucking Spectrum, the absolute worst. Better be fixed by tomorrow.

Anyway, Almost Paradise

Let’s get into the show. The guys have the roses this week for the first rose ceremony of the season with two more girls than guys on the beach. Joining the beach, Victoria Fuller from Peter’s season of The Bachelor. As usual, she gets a date card as she walks in. She asks Justin to go on the date with her, which sends Genevieve who he had an early connection with into a spiral. Not a huge surprise that she freaked out, seeing that Shanae sent her on tons of spirals on Clayton’s season of The Bachelor. Before the date, Justin talks to Genevieve and tells her that he likes his connection with her but thinks they should both explore other connections as well.

Meanwhile back on the beach, Michael opens up a lot to Sierra about how dating has been difficult for him since his wife passed away a few years prior and that he still doesn’t know if he’s ready to seriously date someone but also doesn’t want to use someone to “get ready”. But man, you’re on Bachelor in Paradise. What’s the goal here? She listens to him though and they make out. He’s definitely still hung up on his late wife though, so we’ll see how this proceeds.

Shanae gets her first date card of the season and asks Logan, who she had an early connection with to go it with her. They start their date off going to a club and dancing. They have a solid early connection talking and can both see each other as being good for each other.

Lace finds a bag with the name Salley on it, but there isn’t any girls named Salley here yet. The rest of the girls go open up the bag. Not a great move to open people’s shit that isn’t yours. But of course, this Salley girl, who apparently was the girl that left the night BEFORE Clayton’s season is going to show up. Justin also was evidently very interested in Salley when they first met at Stagecoach (this again?). That sends Genevieve for an even longer spiral.

Justin and Victoria return from their date and he says that their date went very well. He goes to talk to Genevieve. He tells her that the date was fun and that its a tough conversation. She gets all on his case which is a total overreaction. Like the point of this is to explore different connections with different people and see what works. Genevieve is losing her shit because on day 2 of this, the only guy she made any form of connection with went on a date. I thought this girl was nuts and annoying on The Bachelor and this is significantly worse. Hope she goes home.

Romeo, who was in the middle of some drama last week with Jill and Kira, goes over to talk to yet another lady, Brittany. He tells her that he wants to explore something with her but still wants to string Jill around. Not a great move. Super fucking awkward as she rejects him and swerves away from his kiss. Brittany fills in Jill who gets pissed. Romeo goes to talk to Jill and she just walks away, he chases her and she calls him out for playing games. Then this dude starts fake crying by himself as he leaves. What the fuck.

Rose ceremony time with the guys having the roses and three ladies going home, with of course a pre rose ceremony cocktail party.

Romeo goes to talk to Jill again. She right off the bat tells him that she doesn’t particularly want to talk to him and that he doesn’t deserve to say anything to her. This dude can’t stay out of his own way. He asks her if he gave her a rose if she’d accept it and she tells him no. Then he tries to talk to like every girl on the beach. Including Kira, who he says he regrets being close minded to when she got there the day before and just tries to chase a connection. She also isn’t thrilled with him and says she doesn’t have an answer. He starts with the crying act again to get sympathy.

It all continues tomorrow.

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