Week 4 in Paradise and Tayshia says that she’s into Derek and tells JPJ that she wants him to be open to dating other girls that might come in Paradise. Soooo she’s just not that into you.
This girl Tahzjuan, who was apparently on Colton’s season of The Bachelor but I don’t recall her being there whatsoever, joins Paradise. Seems annoying already. She asks to talk to JPJ, which makes Tayshia smile. So apparently that’s over. Anyway, this girl’s annoying as fuck. Hopefully she’s gone, immediately.
I need a drink. Tequila!
John Paul Jones and Tahzjuan go on their date and its so fucking weird. Thank god I made this drink.
Back on the beach, everyone’s talking about their worst kisses and Sidney, Katie and Tayshia all say it was Colton. Poor guy. Tayshia’s smitten with Derek hard. Good for them. Seems like a better fit for both of them.
Real weird kiss between JPJ and Tahzjuan. No one wants to see that.
Meanwhile, Demi and Wells give Caelynn advice on watching out for Dean cause essentially, he’s a fuck boy. This won’t end well for Caelynn. Guaranteed.
Nicole reveals that her and Clay spent the night together (congrats on the sex) and that she’s falling in love with him. Cool, I guess.
Caelynn confronts Dean about his intentions in Paradise with her. He pretty much says that he’s enjoying spending his time with her but he doesn’t really want a long term relationship. Cause he doesn’t wanna grow up and “go to dinner parties and talk about his feelings”. Alright Peter Pan…not here for the the right reasons. What a G though. Ballsy to just tell this girl right away he just wants to have fun.
The next girl to roll into Paradise is Haley, one of the twins from Ben’s season of The Bachelor. She’s looking for someone fun and goofy…John Paul Jones. Obviously they go on a date.
This Tahzjuan girl has like a meltdown cause JPJ’s on a date. Come on.
JPJ and Haley hit it off real quick and he’s grabbing her ass while they’re making out on the beach. Good bye Tahzjuan. The two of them get back from their date and Tahzjuan starts drama with Haley and has another breakdown. This bitch needs to be gone. ASAP.
Tayshia sits down with Derek and asks him now that Demi’s with Kristian, what’s going to make Derek happy. She’s sweet. Also, just realized how close her voice reminds me of Sammy Sweetheart from Jersey Shore (greatest reality show ever). And this girl is TOTALLY here for all the right reasons. Big Tayshia fan.
The cocktail party starts and as Blake tells Caitlin that she’s definitely getting his rose, Kristina butts in and tries to play mind games with him to steal away that rose. Kristina’s mind games to get a rose from Blake seem to work and Blake tells Caitlin he’s rethinking it and thinks he needs to give his rose to Kristina cause she kept him around last week and that she deserves a shot at love. Blake and Kristina deserve each other I guess, since they’re both psycho.
Tayshia and Derek finally hit it off and kiss at the cocktail party. Get it Tayshia! Go for who you want. They’re real cute together and I hope they end up together. JPJ still has a thing for Tayshia though even she clearly friend zoned his goofy ass and moved on to Derek, since he’s an adult.
Dean makes the cute gesture to get Caelynn a cake for her birthday and have everyone else in Paradise sing for her. At least she gets a rose out of it and feels special before he’ll inevitably send her off to heartbreak city in a few weeks.
Katie’s now shaking in her boots that she’s heading home since she screwing things up with her and Chris. But now he’s onto Jen. It just ain’t gonna work with Katie. All Katie’s own doing too. Sorry girl.
Rose ceremony time and Chris Harrison rolls in and changes the rules. The guys still are handing out the roses, but Demi gets to give out the first rose tonight as well. Easy way for them to change the format for her situation.
Blake….Kristina or Caitlin. Probably should be Caitlin. Probably won’t be though, cause Blake’s just a fuck boy.
“Kristina, will you accept this rose?”. These two deserve each other with their bullshit. I feel bad for Caitlin going home.
Derek, let’s progress things with Tayshia here.
“Tayshia, will you accept this rose?”
JPJ time after Derek steals away Tayshia, “Haley, will you accept this rose?” Good choice.
Chris, with the final rose tonight and he has to choose between Katie and Jen.
“Katie, will you accept this rose?”
WOAH, didn’t expect that. But its probably the right choice. I give the guy credit for that one. It does seem like the connection with them was actually stronger than with Jen.
It’s Chris Randone and Krystal Nielson’s wedding tomorrow in a “very dramatic” special episode of Bachelor in Paradise.
PS: Wells after credits impression of JPJ and Tahzjuan was spot on and hilarious.