YANKEES SIGN GERRIT COLE, 9 YEARS 342 MILLION!!!!!

The New York Yankees just signed the best pitcher in baseball, Gerrit Cole to a record breaking, nine year, 324 million dollar contract to come to the Bronx and dominate on the best franchise in all of baseball history. Brian Cashman flew to California during the MLB winter meetings and got the deal done before the meetings were over. 

After losing in heartbreaking fashion the last three years in the playoffs to the cheating Astros twice and the fucking Red Sox, the Yankees needed to address their starting pitching which has been a problem for the last decade that we haven’t won a World Series in. I even wrote a blog bitching about that in August when the trade deadline came and went and the Yanks didn’t get an elite ace. Well, we got him now. The day after Stephen Strasburg re-signed with the Nationals to set a new record for a contract for a pitcher, the CashGod, the most genius GM, just dragged his giant nuts across all of Major League Baseball and beat that by almost 100 million. Insane. The Angels, Dodgers and whatever other “mystery teams” that were after Cole never stood a chance against the Evil Empire. 

The Yanks already had the best lineup of bats and the best bullpen in all of baseball, but there were holes in the starting pitching. This move of signing the most dominant pitcher in baseball changes all of that. Gerrit Cole as the ace of the staff, Sevy as the number 2 that could easily be the ace of any other team when his stuff is on and he isn’t injured, James Paxton, a very reliable Tanaka (especially in the playoffs) and either Domingo German or Jordan Montgomery. What a rotation. Feels like 2009 when Cashman went out and got the best available ace to come to NY, CC Sabathia. And we all remember what happened that year, World Series #27. And CC played an instrumental part in the Cole signing too. He said on his podcast, R2C2 (great pod, highly recommended) that he had talked to Cole at length many times about being a west coast Cali guy and coming to play in the Bronx. 

With that lineup, with that bullpen and now with that starting rotation headlined by Gerrit Cole, I don’t see a way that we don’t win World Series #28 next year. Good luck to the rest of baseball. We didn’t win any this past decade, we’re gonna win em all this decade.

Thank you Brian Cashman, what a wonderful Christmas gift for all of us Yankees fan around the world. 

Welcome to the Bronx, Gerrit Cole!!! Now let’s go win us a fucking World Series next year!!!!!