Long and dramatic episode of Paradise to set up for next week’s finale of this fantastic season..

We’re nearing the end of this highly entertaining season of Bachelor in Paradise with only tonight’s three hour long episode before next week’s season finale. 

Last week’s episode ended with some fireworks as Ivan tried to steal away Chelsea from Aaron… and succeeded. That drama continues right away this week. Aaron got kind of screwed over twice this season now, first with his drama with Thomas and then this time with Ivan, going rose hunting. Ivan lies twice to the beach, first that he didn’t say the only hope he has is for someone new to come down and then that Chelsea asked to talk to him. Which is not true. Meanwhile, while all this drama is going on, she’s not even on the beach. Chelsea then confirms as she’s getting filled in, that Ivan pulled her, not the other way around. Talking to Aaron afterwards, Chelsea tells him that Ivan lied to everyone about that she pulled him. Chelsea goes to talk to Ivan and calls him out on the bullshit and sees right through that he’s just trying to steal a rose. 

Rose ceremony time, but before that Wells has to bring something up to the group that happened at the hotel while they were sheltering for the hurricane that we saw on screen for less than five minutes. Wells (who really should be the full time host of Paradise) pulls Ivan away from the group to go talk on the beach. He tells Wells that he was feeling lost in Paradise with no connections, didn’t know where to go and he spent time with Alexa from Peter’s season of The Bachelor (who isn’t on the beach and I don’t even remember). When Wells asks him how that happened on essentially a closed set without here there and he says in his room he saw a producer’s phone and saw the list of room numbers on it. Lot of broken rules there and it confirms he was just trying to steal Chelsea’s rose to stay on the beach till Alexa got there. Ivan admits his mistake and Wells tells him to come clean to everyone on the beach directly from him. Then in his whole story to the rest of the beach, he tells Chelsea that he wasn’t going to accept her rose, yeah okay, tell another lie dude. All he wanted was Chelsea’s rose to be able to meet Alexa the following week. This guy fucked up. He says his goodbyes and leaves the beach. 

Onto the rose ceremony with zero surprises as Natasha chooses Ed, sending Dr. Joe home and then Tia giving her rose to James with the final rose of the evening, sending Blake home. Pretty boring rose ceremony after the drama with Ivan. 

FINALLY, Wells is now the host of Paradise this week. Let’s make this permanent for next season.

Mari talks to Kenny because she feels like the two of them have drifted apart the last few nights and he says that he feels like there is something missing between them and that he doesn’t think they end up engaged. Anyone could’ve guessed that. 

The first girl to arrive this week to Paradise is Anna, the Hannah Brown look alike from Matt’s season of The Bachelor. This girl was a terrible bitch on The Bachelor where she caused drama by starting rumors about other girls in the house. Anna asks James to go on the date with her. He’s the only one on the beach who hasn’t gone on a date yet and since Tia and him don’t have a great connection yet, he says yes. On their date, James and Anna first have to roll around in a pit of sugar and cinnamon and then get chocolate syrup poured on each other, turning themselves into “human churros”. These dates are always weird as fuck. After that they get a snake massage with real snakes and then connect just sitting in a hot tub having champagne. 

Mykenna from Peter’s terrible season of The Bachelor is the next to come down the stairs. I thought she was real annoying on The Bachelor so don’t have much expectation for her here. She asks Aaron to go on the date with her and he says “yeah, let’s chat real quick”. Pretty weird response. He tells her that he has had a real tough week and that he wouldn’t be able to put himself “completely there for her” on the date and pretty much rejects her. Mykenna starts crying on the beach and Ed goes and offers to go on the date with her but she says that she “doesn’t think the timing is right to be there and that she should go home” but ultimately decides to stay and goes on the date with Ed. Natasha’s rightfully pretty pissed about that since after she gave Ed a rose, he decided to go on a date that he wasn’t invited on. I wasn’t a fan of him on Clare and Tayshia’s season The Bachelorette and thought he was kind of a blockhead. Ed and Mykenna start their date with roll blading in light up skates (which they both suck at, by the way) to like a disco prom dinner date. 

A “Mexican princess” or whatever she calls herself pulls Kenny and Mari apart from the rest of the beach for some “energy cleaning” thing that while watching at least the beginning of it seemed like bullshit to me, draws the two of them a bit closer together.

Knowing that they are going into the final week of Paradise, Noah tells Abigail that they need to be open and transparent with one another and he tells her that he is falling in love with her and that he can see it working with her in the real world. She freezes up when he says that to her…not great. Might not work out with these two. 

The whole beach gets invited to an 80s themed “Paradise prom”, a symbol to the end of high school…or the end of Paradise. Everyone couples up with dates for prom besides Tia and Natasha (who’s sick and not going). As someone who went to prom alone in high school, I feel bad for Tia…plus the last time she was on Paradise she was with a dude that turned out gay…so on that alone you gotta feel bad for the poor girl. As Tia is sitting there dancing alone by herself, Aaron pulls Tia outside. Aaron tells her that that he doesn’t want to regret anything in Paradise, gives her a corsage and makes out with her. Chelsea kind of fucked around with Aaron with the whole Ivan thing, so good for him.

Noah and Abigail win the couple most likely to end up working out after Paradise together and the Paradise king and queen go to Joe and Serena, the strongest couple this entire time on the beach. Dancing to Almost Paradise, Noah pulls Abigail to the side since he’s conflicted by her not reacting to him telling her that he was falling in love with her after she heard it and just froze. Noah tells Abigail that he’s conflicted by how he feels and what he thinks he should do with her after Paradise and this experience. He says that he feels he’s trying to force something he wants while knowing that she isn’t his person…which doesn’t seem wrong to me. Abigail says that she feels blindsided by him telling her that he is falling in love with her the day before and having this conversation now. Nothing she could really say here.

Long and dramatic episode of Paradise to set up for next week’s finale of this fantastic season. 

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