Spoilers 

When I heard that MTV was starting a new show Double Shot at Love with DJ Pauly D and Vinny, I was all in. I love The Bachelor and Jersey Shore was the best reality TV show ever made. Must watch TV every week on those two shows. On an interview with Pardon My Take, Vinny described it as “a ratchet version of The Bachelor” and after watching the first episode, that’s the perfect description. The Bachelor tries to be so classy with the girls coming to the house in limos and it being as high class as it could try to be for a bunch of girls trying to date one clown. MTV took that formula and just made it as trashy as they possibly could for Double Shot at Love. “I’m sorry but your cab is here” is the perfect spin on the rose ceremony to send girls home. 

It’s the same great Vinny and Pauly D that we’ve known for 10 years now. Pauly brings a spinning case to hold his watches in and puts nails in the wall to hang his chains, which Vinny hilariously describes as “the biggest mix of no class and luxury that I’ve ever seen” which is spot on. And Vinny’s the same mama’s boy bringing a picture of Paula with him to the new house. 

Then the first batch of girls show up.  CABSS ARE HEREEEEEE. I can’t imagine where MTV finds these girls and I really don’t want to know. The first group of girls who come in and think they’re dating Pauly were interesting to say the least. My first impressions of each girl:

• Elle: She looks like a Kardashian, her thinking she’s smart is hilarious 
• Alli: She seems like a psychopath. Watch out boys 
• Suzi: She needs to disappear. Immediately. Can’t handle that bitch’s voice. Love that the other girls hated her immediately
• Nikki: This girl from Jamaica is gonna be fun to watch. Drama comes from that girl for sure. 
• B-Lashes: What. The. Fuck. So extra about everything. She wants Post Malone, who looks like he smells like a bag of garbage rotting in the sun. Says a lot about this trash bag girl. 
• Derynn: This girl’s fucking hot. Bet she’s a bitch. I like that she used to be a fat girl.
• Mish: Psycho. Great for reality TV
• Ashley: This girl might be a reality TV star
• Cate: Angelina 2.0. Staten Island Dump 2.0. And her makeup looks absolutely atrocious. 
• Nadya: “what up Farrah Abraham” LOL. Seriously though, she’s hot. 

After the first group of girls all settle in, they each start going to talk to Pauly (who they think is the only guy). And the girls start stealing him away to talk one on one, just like in the Bachelor. 

Some thoughts I had with the groups’ interactions on their first night on the show with DJ Pauly D:

• I loved how the Derryn girl just immediately started “pulling the robbery”. “I just wanna squeeze your buttcheeks” is an all time line. I can’t tell how insane she is yet but this could get funny. 
• Pauly seems so scared of Suzi. I don’t blame him whatsoever. Psychopath.
• Pauly and this Jamaican Nikki girl definitely have a thing on the first impression.
• Mish is so in over her head as she already starts to have a breakdown on night one of this show. It’s a reality TV dating show, what do you expect to happen?
• I also forget that 22 year olds are too young to know what Jersey Shore was and how big of an impact the show was 10 years ago. Everyone was watching it. Cultural phenomenon. 
• How Pauly’s reacting with the girl that looks like his ex is hilarious. AAaawkward.
• I thought it was hilarious when Vinny says “I hate Staten Island girls” as this bitch falls in the hot tub. This show’s gonna be great and that bitch who I think is another version of Angelina will be gone quickly.
• I can’t tell if this Derryn girl’s crazy cat thing is an act or if she’s for real.
• The Staten Island Dump 2.0 is spiraling out of control already. 
• B-Lashes actually seems to have a normal personality. 
• Glad this Cait girl left. The Angelina 2.0 act was enough.

Then after a night, we get the way shittier version of the Bachelor’s rose ceremony to determine who’s going home. The guys asking the girls who get to stay “Will you put your number in my phone” is pathetic. Producers couldn’t think of something better than that line. Nothing will ever beat “will you accept this rose?” but the producers of Jersey Shore could have came up with something more clever with these guys.

I was glad they sent Ali home. She was boring compared to the other girls and its weird that she looks like his ex. And B-Lashes is going up on my list with her Italian horn chain. I like that.

Then the second crew of girls come in who think Vinny is their “bachelor”:

• Maria: Seems normal-ish for a TV show girl
• Shira: Ridiculously high maintenance
• Christina: This yoga girl is going to be super annoying. Hopefully she’s gone quickly. She’s the absolute worst.
• Victoria: “I’m hoping to smash at least once a day” hahahahahaha
• Deseree: Not a fan
• Marissa: Reminds me of Deena, could be funny
• Brittnay: The Nebraska weather girl, seems like Teen Mom would be a better fit for her. She could also be very entertaining.
• Holly: Seems annoying. But she kinda reminds me of Snooki in season 1 of Jersey Shore, so she could grow on me.
• Alysse: Boring, she’ll be gone quick
• Zuljeily: Smoke show. Crazy name.

My thoughts on the girl’s first interactions with Vinny:

• This Shira girl can’t cook, how ridiculous. 
• Christina is the absolute worst, I can’t stand her. Drama already with her and Holly. 
• “Just cause you watch MMA, doesn’t mean you do MMA”. Hilarious. Like the one liners Pauly had on Jersey Shore
• Vinny really hitting it off talking porn with the Maria girl, she’ll last long on the show
• 16 year old daughter for the Nebraska weather girl, damnnnn.
• “You like to talk”. This bitch. 
• This Christina bitch’s fake boobs look atrocious. And how the hell does she think Mars is the closest planet to the sun. Insane. Can’t wait till she gets sent home already
• Vinny definitely likes the Maria girl the best.

When it came time for the cabs to take two of Vinny’s girls home, Deseree getting sent home wasn’t a big surprise. Not a whole lot to her. Elysse and Shira being the last two girls was also no surprise and of course Shira got sent home. Elysse’s cab will be here next week. 

This show’s just gonna keep getting better. MTV knows how to make a hit TV show. CABS ARE HERE.