So Glad This Kid’s Gone

“Let’s push our loves to the limit” is on the date card for this week’s first group date and it turns out to be a weird sex ed/baby class. Pretty creepy idea but it’s cool that the producers were able to get Jason Biggs and Jenny Mollen to “teach” this sex ed class. They couldn’t find any less weird date for them to go on though!? To make the guy’s feel what it’s like to give birth, they had to try an electrical shock thing on their abs that seemed painful as hell. “Today was really fun”, yeah Hannah, I’m pretty sure none of these guys thought that was fun AT ALL. Afterwards, when they go get drinks, it seems like Hannah is really kicking it off with Jed but I’m still not so sure how genuine he is. I still kind of think he’s just there to try to launch his music career. Next she talks to Mike, who sits down and almost seems as he’s lecturing her and then decides to tell her this whole sob story about a miscarriage that he had with his ex and blames himself for it. And for some reason, none of it with this guy seems real. Just seems like he’s trying to get her to fall for it. I know it’s a terrible thing but it just seems like a fake story to me. And then fucking Cam walks in. WHYYYY?! Again. And again. This kid needs to go. And although I don’t like either of these guys…PLEASE give us these two getting into a fight! Next, Cam’s getting into drama with Jonathan. Cam can’t be off of this show soon enough. Can we just get on with the rest of this show? After this drama, Hannah talks to Tyler C. who seems like a complete dumbass but does seem to be on the show for the right reasons. And she’s stupid as hell so maybe it works out for them together, dumb and dumber.  Mike does get the group date rose for his sob story, which for some reason and with the way he talks still makes it not seem genuine to me. The cocky way he talks in the confessional after getting the rose definitely makes it seem even more fake to me.

Coming back from a commercial break it flashes to Hannah in a hospital room getting an IV. Then its back to the mansion with Connor S. getting his date with Hannah cancelled but instead he gets a card to go hang out with her in her hotel room since she doesn’t feel well. The kid seems pretty real as he gets her flowers, a get well card and some soup. Nice gestures from him for sure. Quickly they’re making out on her bed, good for Connor! We cut back to the mansion and here we go with Luke P. being a creepy college kid again. He’s great entertainment value though, not a complete annoyance like Cam is. This kid and Demi are gonna be a great match on Bachelor in Paradise. Back to Hannah’s room and all around good kid Connor is telling Hannah about his parents’ good relationship and a story about his mom having a stroke when he was 13. I like this kid, I think he’s a good choice for her. Definitely seems like he should be a front runner and the Post-It notes all over her room thing was cute, like the nice parts of a high school relationship. He doesn’t get a rose on the one on one but I think he will at the rose ceremony. But Hannah definitely seems to have really liked the Post-It notes and clearly now he’s getting a rose. The limo driver comes in and informs Connor that he’s going on a real date with Hannah. Immediately after he walks up to her, he gets a rose. Good for him and she does seem to like him. They go to a private concert of some random indie artist that’s pretty good! They have a knack for finding good unknown music on this show. A little early for the “I think I’m falling in love” line here though. 

Another surprise coming back from the next commercial as we find out that Tyler G, who she had a one on one with last week, had to leave without them showing him at all. That guy was a boring dweeb anyway so we’re not missing much with him gone.

On to the next group date and Hannah’s taking the guys to a photoshoot with some animals. This one seems way more fun than the other group date from this episode (even with the built in ad read for The Secret Life of Pets 2). Knowing about a person’s pets definitely does tell a lot about a person, so I like the idea a lot. And woooo, we get Demi back for another appearance. This girl is still hilarious, although there isn’t really anything entertaining coming from having her on this episode.  

“She’s kissing other guys, it’s not an easy pill to swallow”, no shit Luke P., that’s part of the show. She seems real annoyed by him already, not a good look. And he’s the first guy that she asks to talk to one on one and she’s completely irritated. If he makes it past this week, he’s gone next week. Girls like confidence, they don’t like cockiness. This kid’s too immature to see that. And her just giving him a warning and scolding him…isn’t good and he’s spiraling out of control already. Like chill man. If he does happen to get a rose, he’ll break down and leave on his own soon enough. His little brain can’t handle it. Hannah talks to Garrett, who I still think is a douchebag but she seems to actually like him. Luke P. gets scolded by Hannah again for trying to talk to her again. Zero chance this kid is here after this rose ceremony. We find out that Peter’s mom is also a former pageant queen, so this kid has another connection with Hannah and I think he’s a good match too. He should at least go pretty far this season. You could tell he is there for the right reasons and I was glad he got the group date rose. I also find it hilarious that she gave Luke P. another warning before she gave the rose to Peter. 

Before the tailgate party prior to the rose ceremony, fucking Cam tells the group of guys that he has some serious news that he needs to tell Hannah right away and that she might just send him home immediately. I really hope this happens, but I doubt it. Everything about this kid is fake, and Mike, the other guy I think is fake, calls Cam out on his bullshit. Every single time that Cam talks it pisses me off. He just tried to put together a story of supposedly having to get his leg amputated, his grandma dying and having to lose his puppy. FAKEEEEEEE. Shut the FUCK up, Cam. I can’t wait till he’s gone. But at least we’ll get a little Mike drama with him the rest of this episode. And this kid’s FOR SURE gone. Hannah’s not smart and still figured out Cam’s bullshit. See yaaaaaaaa!!!

It comes time for the rose ceremony and with a statement from Hannah that “if you get a rose it isn’t a pity rose” as a little dig to Cam, we find out who’s going home this week. Luke P. gets to stick around another week and although Hannah knows there’s no future with this kid, she’ll keep him around for some more fun. But THANK GOD that Cam is gone. I couldn’t deal with another week of that asshole on the show. Good choice Hannah.

Next week on The Bachelorette, it looks like the front runners of Peter, Tyler C. and Jed all advance their relationships with Hannah and it looks like Mike’s moved from fighting with Cam to fighting with Luke P. Hopefully they brawl and then they’re both gone next week. Really, I can’t wait for all of these fights. ENTERTAINMENT. After the credits, it shows Garrett getting his hair waxed off, he at least earned to stick around a couple more weeks for going through that shit.

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