When this season is mentioned later years in the look backs at old Bachelor and Bachelorette seasons, it’s gonna be Luke’s Bachelorette season. At least that’s what it seems like with the Previously on the Bachelorette recap thing this week. But here we go, another week of this shit.
Hannah’s first one on one date of the week is with Garrett, who I still think is a jerk off. For their one on one, Hannah and Garrett go bungie jumping naked. Complete with some weird foreigners. Good for him I guess. Nothing really notable about their dinner conversation other than him coming off as an even bigger jerk off saying he thought he was meant to play football but went to golf. Cool bro, you sound pathetic. And no, you’re not falling in love. Hannah seems to like him a lot though and was impressed by this one on one, here’s a rose. It did feel like a rare little romantic moment in this season that’s just been filled with stupid drama, so I guess that was nice.
On the group date, while touring the city of Riga, Hannah tells the guys about her and Garrett bungie jumping naked and of course Luke decides to have a meltdown. “Her body is her temple and to expose it to anyone who isn’t her husband, that was a slap in my face” SHUT THE FUCK UP LUKE. This is fucking atrocious television. No one who is that much of an insane douchebag is that much of a prude. No way. This is just acting at this point. No way this could be real and if it is, that’s even worse. Luke can’t be gone sooner than later so we can just get to HANNAH’s season of The Bachelorette.
Tyler gets the first one on one time on the group date with Hannah and it goes fantastic for both of them. It seems real to me, on both sides. Next, Luke goes right to whining to her about how he was all butt hurt that she went bungie jumping naked with Garrett. Hopefully this shit is the final straw with him getting sent home. Tyler much deservedly gets the group date rose.
The second one on one of the week is with another front runner, Peter. They go to a Latvian spa ritual thing. The date goes well for them, with a steamy make out sesh in the sauna. I’m glad its going well for them, I think Peter’s the best genuine match for Hannah. Even their conversations during dinner seem more real, rather than just trying to put words together for the camera. Peter opens up to her, so that helps her in seeing that there seems to be more than just a physical connection between the two of them. Hannah gives Peter the completely expected rose. The producers do a fantastic job of picking music to go with the right scenes on this show. This is types of scenes that make this series fantastic. They do such a good job with the “I think i’m falling in love with you” moments. The scenes where it feels like you’re actually watching these two people fall for each other, NOT all the overly produced bullshit drama that happens in between all of that just for the sake of the TV show.
Sort of unexpectedly, Jed decides to go see Hannah and sing outside her hotel room. The music thing is a bit much, obviously he’s still here for the wrong reasons. It’s all about just trying to make it in the music industry. Credit where its due, his music’s good but maybe The Voice would’ve been a better show for him than The Bachelorette. Hannah’s dumb though so she’s definitely falling for it. Making out on her bed Jed decides to drop the line. “I think I’m falling in love with you”. Yeah, okay.
Drama again. Garrett vs. Luke. Come the fuck on. I can’t stand either of these guys but I really hate Luke. This is worse than high school drama. Luke does make a good point though, “if you don’t want me to worry about what you and Hannah do, don’t talk about it”. Not wrong, just keep your mouth shut and none of this matters.
Before the rose ceremony, Hannah stops in and asks Luke to speak to him. Please send him home. Please. More of Hannah lecturing Luke about him being a complete idiot. Why is he still here? No reason whatsoever.
More drama between the guys mainly revolving around Luke. Chris Harrison walks in and announces that there’s no cocktail party and its right to the rose ceremony. And Hannah knows “exactly what she wants to do”.
Rose ceremony time. Let’s go!
Jed, will you accept this rose?
Mike, will you accept this rose?
Connor, will you accept this rose?
Final rose…Luke, will you accept this rose? COME ON. I literally yelled at my fucking TV when Hannah said this. This season is the fucking worst. And this girl is beyond stupid. No real surprise that Dylan and Dustin are gone, neither of those two were gonna work out with her anyway.
Chris Harrison asks Hannah his best question of the season, “what do you like about Luke?” to which Hannah replies “I’m either falling in love with Luke or Luke is making me go crazy”. It is for sure the latter.